Coming Soon

Within the next couple of weeks I'm going to be reaching a significant anniversary and it occurs to me that I've been too slack, for too long, in some of the things I have within my power to do to make an assertive difference in my future.

To this point, I've unconsciously resigned myself to certain obstacles - which still exist to be sure,  and that combined with a tendency to procrastination and time-wasting, as well as an overworked skepticism about my potential, have combined to rob me of my passion to not allow the things I can't change to hinder the things I CAN change. Among these, for instance, is weight loss. It is perfectly valid for me to note that I don't have sufficient income to pay for the significant transition related costs still in front of me, or even non-trans related care that is needed. it is not valid for me to then resign myself to being 70 or so pounds overweight when I can at least try to be proactive about that.

Likewise, my ever-in-progress novel, which hasn't been significantly contributed to in months, is within my power to work on. it is perhaps the one thing in my life that I have a lot of confidence in. Yet, there's a part of me that is afraid to find out that the work which I believe to be so good (as I envision it) as to be literally life-changing for me and my future might, instead, find lukewarm response and be swept aside with the tens of thousands of other slightly read titles. but it's time I faced that fear and make it happen. while it's true that I've had a rather massive case of writer's block about how to maintain a sufficient level of dram through the middle of the book, there are strategies that can be employed and it's time I made time to make it happen, for better or worse.

Similarly, I find myself wasting inordinate amounts of time posting extensive commentaries on the news of the day on various forums, blogs, news-sites, and social media outlets (i.e. the time sucking vortex that is Facebook) while this blog sits untouched for six months at a time. that's just silly. If I want this site to have a wider audience in order to serve as a vehicle to my longed for writing career, then  my thoughts need to be published here. Even if that means it's more difficult to find time to debate elsewhere.
That's my weakness, by the way. I LOVE the contest of ideas that comes from a good debate. I love to engage the opposing view and make compelling arguments which may or may not change that person's mind but which nevertheless makes the opposing arguments visible to the by-standing reader who can contrast and consider who made the better case. That's a more difficult thing to do on a blog which seldom entertains contrary opinions even if you have a high pageview count (which I don't). But I'm never going to have much traffic if i don't have much content - and anyone who knows me knows i have content to offer, it's simply a matter of focusing my output here and giving readers a reason to visit.

As to the problem of contrary opinions, that's simply an inherent limitation of the format of blogging.  but it's a matter of self discipline that I build up the interest in this page, if possible, even if that doesn't satisfy my taste for debate.

In the future, you'll see me comment here on the major stories of the day - usually not in the heat of the moment but after the big event has percolated around the 'net for a few days and the initial wave of reactions has come ashore. Chelsea (nee Bradley) manning being the latest example of the sort of thing that will get me writing. also, I'm going to try something new in that I will be sharing with you snippets of rough draft fiction writing or ideas and characters I'm playing with, to give you a bit of a tease for the sort of fiction writing I hope to offer. Additionally, there will be an irregular serious of memoir type posts which may or may not eventually lead to something bigger in that regard. I'm very reluctant to do the "tell my story" bit because, frankly, it seems every third trans woman out there tries to kickstart their writing career with a memoir. It's a very saturated field and one ought to hesistate to assume they have something fresh to add. However, as free content on a site that you hope people will visit and be engaged in, it becomes something I'm interested in doing.

Be advised: even though I style myself a writer, my absolute weakest talent is proofreading my own work. you should EXPECT to see some non-standard grammar, be that simply an uncaught error, or an unconventional but purposeful writing style (it is my goal to write in such a way as to convey a conversational tone and I sometimes employ punctuation, among other things, to evoke a sense of "pause here" and so forth). you'll see mistakes of spelling, punctuation, and capitalization (most notable, the infamous uncapitalized "i" to name one. 

If you are a stickler for strict adherence to proper grammar and construction in all writing, you may find my work here intolerable on that score - but do understand that this is NOT a reflection of that work which I see to publish for sale. That book (books, one hopes) when it arrives will be scrupulously edited for that sort of thing.

Finally, you should also be aware that I tend to be verbose. you are much more likely to see a post of 150 words than one of 300 words. one former friend described me as a person who, when asked the time, would tell you how they made the watch. Admittedly i need practice in being concise, but on the other hand - I have little interest in shallow fluff being passed off as regular content. There will no doubt be those moments, but most days if I post a link to something here, grab a cup of coffee and be prepared to spend 10 minutes or so reading. hopefully you'll find the content worthy of your investment.

You may imagine that the time will come when i will heavily shill this site and the book, one skill I need to develop if this is to become my life's work, is self-promotion, at which I am terribly unskilled.  I will tell you on the front end of this new-beginning that it is my hope that between now and then you will be impressed enough to join me in promoting the work, not because you like me but because it's actually good enough for you to recommend.

So. Shall we begin?